Is the FSM insulting to Christians?

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Posted on 1st September 2009 by Jack in ID/Creationism

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If I may, I’d like to introduce into evidence the following letter, written by the founder of the FSM movement. Who should know better the purpose of the concept of the FSM than the person who created it?

Open Letter To Kansas School Board

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/
(graph of relationship between the number of pirates and the global average temperature and a drawing of the FSM not included in this quote)

The concept has been borrowed by atheists and applied to religious faith in general, but the original focus of the parody was the Kansas School Board fiasco over the Intellectual Design movement.

Can satire ridicule and humiliate? Sure, watch Life of Brian and Monty Python and the Holy Grail sometime (both available from Netflix-awarded five stars by this reviewer). But satire is also useful in making people think instead of presume, to look at familiar situations from a different perspective.

When it comes to granting an unwarranted exemption-from-criticism to religious belief I agree with AC Grayling when he writes,

It is time to reverse the prevailing notion that religious commitment is intrinsically deserving of respect, and that it should be handled with kid gloves and protected by custom and in some cases law against criticism and ridicule.

It is time to refuse to tip-toe around people who claim respect, consideration, special treatment, or any other kind of immunity, on the grounds that they have a religious faith, as if having faith were a privilege-endowing virtue, as if it were noble to believe in unsupported claims and ancient superstitions. It is neither. Faith is a commitment to belief contrary to evidence and reason, as between them Kierkegaard and the tale of Doubting Thomas are at pains to show; their example should lay to rest the endeavours of some (from the Pope to the Southern Baptists) who try to argue that faith is other than at least non-rational, given that for Kierkegaard its virtue precisely lies in its irrationality.

On the contrary: to believe something in the face of evidence and against reason – to believe something by faith – is ignoble, irresponsible and ignorant, and merits the opposite of respect. It is time to say so.

Those who claim to be “hurt” or “offended” by the criticisms or ridicule of people who do not share their views, yet who seek to silence others by law or by threats of violence, are trebly in the wrong: they undermine the central and fundamental value of free speech, without which no other civil liberties are possible; they claim, on no justifiable ground, a right to special status and special treatment on the sole ground that they have chosen to believe a set of propositions; and they demand that people who do not accept their beliefs and practices should treat these latter in ways that implicitly accept their holder’s evaluation of them.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2006/oct/19/acgrayling

It’s clear that the original intent of the FSM proposal was specifically to challenge the philosophical underpinnings of the ID movement in its attempt to infiltrate the Kansas high school science curriculum. I submit it could be successfully argued that the FSM has been co-opted by atheism to illustrate how religions are formed and how difficult they are to debunk. In neither case do I believe there is evidence of intent to ridicule or humiliate believers.

However, we all know that intent does not guarantee a particular outcome. Similarly, intent does not protect against mis-perceptions. If offense is taken by satire directed against religious belief, it must be understood that this is a choice, the insulted party is responsible for their perception. No one knows another mind completely. If one chooses to take offense the intent of the “offender” matters little.

There are many people I go out of my way not to offend. I respect them and feel they deserve this from me. Some of them I know as individuals while others are members of groups that as a group earn respect.

Religious believers is not a group that has earned respect, and loses points of respect every time I hear them demanding it or threatening what they’ll do if they don’t get it. Atheists are expected to passively submit to frequent postings on the internet and statements by people with whom we associate that portray atheists as evil, devil worshipers, Satanists, Communists, molesters, rapists, doomed to hell to suffer eternal torment for having the audacity to question the gods and to laugh at the belief in them. And while not taking offense ourselves, we’re expected to offer respect to those who espouse and announce such judgmental ignorance. In fact, we’re further castigated for not showing respect to our overlords, just another sin added to an already long list. Sure, that sounds reasonable. Let me throw myself in the mud so that you may step on me and avoid becoming soiled, my lord.

Theism is horrified by the realization that atheism has finally developed into a formidable foe. There is a growing number of atheists who can defend their opinion with intelligence and citations. A growing number of “celebrity atheists” are emerging, outspoken and out of the closet, the beginning of a well prepared counterforce to the Jim Bakkers and Pat Robertsons we’ve had since the beginning of this nation. And the FSM is one of those celebrity atheists. Some branches of theism despise cartoons about their prophets and gods, but now atheism has its own.

FSM
The FSM is an appropriate satire on several levels. It was successful in exposing the true intentions of Dembski, Behe and their fellows. It’s equally effective when used by atheists to draw attention to the often overlooked weaknesses in the arguments supporting the notion that gods exist.

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